Standing up for the truth

SIT-DOWN COMEDIAN: Ray Shalders. Graham Harsant

NOW, I've heard some bullsh** stories before - many, in fact.

Truckies are pretty good at "stretching" a yarn.

"Don't let the truth get in the way of a good story" is the old adage, and truckies are pretty adept at it.

But at the recent HCVCA event at Yarra Glen, Ray Shalders and Rick Hayman took the "truth" to new heights.

We couldn't let this little gem go by without sharing it with you all.

Ray Shalders - of indeterminate age, but we'll guess at well in excess of 60 - turned up at the show in a wheelchair. When I asked what had occurred, he responded as follows.

"I was up at Dunolly truck show and I had an 18-year-old sheila in the bunk. I was climbing out the back - pissed of course," Shalders said.

"Between the Grappa and the fact that I couldn't take my eyes of this naked, nubile young thing, I missed the step, didn't I?

"Hit the ground and broke my bloody hip. Laid there for three quarters of an hour in the cold until someone found me.

"Then it was well over an hour before an ambulance arrived. They took me to Maryborough and they couldn't do anything there, so they shot me on to Bendigo.

"I did about 300km in the back of a rotten old ambulance. Could have been worse, I suppose. I could have broken my neck."

Then Rick Hayman stepped in. 

Rick Hayman.
Rick Hayman. Graham Harsant


"Now, let me tell you the truth of what happened, because I saw it all," Hayman said.

"Ray was hang gliding up at Halls Gap.

"He was up at 3000-4000 feet I reckon - just a speck in the sky.

"Anyway, one of the stays broke on the hang glider and, of course, he was in a spot of bother.

"He came down a fair way, with the hang glider twisting this way and that, spinning out of control, almost to the ground.

"Obviously a few things would've been running through his mind. That's probably where he dreamed of that 18-year-old naked beauty - as his life was obviously passing in front of his eyes.

"Then a bloke came along in a Cessna, noticed he was in a fair bit of strife and actually guided the Cessna underneath him so that he landed on the wing. That was when he broke his hip.

"They were still in a bit of bother, because some of the hang glider wires got caught up in the prop of the Cessna.

"I tell you, that was a bloody good pilot, because he managed to glide in and land at Horsham. Ray didn't realise he'd broken his hip until he went to climb down off the wing.

"And, as I stand here, hand on heart, that's the real truth of what happened. I mean, look at him. What 18-year-old would go near that?"

These two versions of how Ray did his hip in came out seamlessly and spontaneously. No wonder these two blokes can't lie straight in bed!

Topics:  graham harsant life with kermie

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