BE STILL my beating heart... Poldark is back on our screens! All the ladies of Lismore can commence to a-fluttering their lacy handkerchiefs and swooning. I, for one, will be completely unavailable on Sunday nights as I will be sitting on my couch, glued to the telly and armed with smelling salts in case I have an attack of the vapours. This might happen when Captain Ross Poldark takes it upon himself to lie back in the bed with his lovely wife Demelza.

Your faithful correspondent can report that the vital ingredients are back in full force:

• Floppy white shirts (tick)
• Silver candlesticks and guttering candles (tick)
• Lots of riding of horses along cliff sides and sweeping beaches (tick)
• Plenty of heaving bosoms ( tick)
• Smouldering looks (tick)
• Elaborate hairdos (tick)
• Mounds of dough being kneaded when people are troubled (tick)
• Lots of pictures of waves crashing onto rocks (tick)
• Lots of people working underground in clearly dangerous conditions (tick)
• Villainous behaviour (tick)
• Lots of snug fitting breeches (extra ticks)
• A small amount of bare chests peeping out from voluminous shirts (extra ticks)
• Feathers atop elaborate hairdos (tick)
• Bit of kissing and carrying on, enough to tantalise but not so much as to make the ladies of Lismore blush (tick)

Certain questions do arise such as: how do they keep all that lace so clean, how to they ever find the time to maintain those enormous hairdos, why doesn't Ross completely ignore Elizabeth, how does anyone see how to do anything (especially fine sewing) by candlelight, how does anyone get their washing clean and dry especially as people keep plunging into the sea fully clothed or working in that filthy mine. But these are minor niggles. It's a full on romantic drama with lot to distract from the gritty and mundane details of daily life. Does paying bills and cleaning up animal vomit rate next to this gorgeously filmed tale? It does not. I do love Lismore but there is a distinct shortage of handsome men galloping on horses or writing meaningful letters by candlelight that start "my dearest". by candlelight. You just know those letters are going to get lost in transit. The whole story is an essay on the excellent uses of the mobile phone and interweb. But you will have to excuse me now, I am going to stand on my verandah and gaze moodily into the middle distance. If sufficiently agitated I may even utter a significant gasp.