FOR one of the - if not the - best free parenting programs in the world look no further than Tweed Heads South.

The Family Centre begins its eight week Triple P - Positive Parenting Program at the end of February.

Emphasis.

Senior family worker Steve Marriott said the course emphasised a balance between promoting children's good behaviour, and managing their bad.

"A lot of parents want some simple tool to fix misbehaviour," Mr Marriott said.

"We emphasise kids do not misbehave all the time, and when parents notice kids being good they should encourage it."

Relationships.

A strong relationship is key, he said, as a broken relationship will not be able to reinforce good behaviour, nor discourage bad.

"This program is internationally renowned.

"It has the biggest evidence-base of all parenting programs.

"The NSW Government has done a big push to get this (program) to as many parents as possible.

"People should learn things in the course which stay with them."

Communication.

Effective communication is one key thing many might take from the course, Mr Marriot said.

"A lot of people are already doing good things, in which case this is fine-tuning.

"But it's for anyone - parents who are struggling, or doing quite well.

"We identify those who are struggling though the program and provide one-on-one tailored support."

Strategies.

An example relevant to the course might be a child seeking attention through bad behaviour, in which case "planned ignoring" could be effective, he said.

"If you immediately respond, the child might try it again, thinking 'If I make lots of noise I might get mum's attention'.

"If it's around safety, you might need to go with a time-out strategy.

"Importantly, there's a range of strategies, while often parents might rely on one or two tricks up their sleeve.

"They'll try it once then feel out of options, and resort to smacking.

"With a range of options you should always have the tool to manage behaviour."

The evidence around this program suggests applied strategies work.

"It also depends on how committed parents are to practising what they learn," Mr Marriott said.

Some common behaviour management instructional traps from Triple P founder Professor Matt Sanders:

• Too many - the more instructions you give, the more opportunities to disobey;
• Too few - children may sometimes seem disobedient because no one has taken the time to give them clear information on what is expected;
• Too vague - shouting your son's name, then pausing and frowning because he is jumping on the couch might not be of much help if he has also just teased his sister, so state clearly what behaviours you find unacceptable;
• Asking, not telling - don't phrase an instruction as a question: if you ask "Would you like to go to bed now?" be prepared for them to say "No";
• Poorly timed - asking your child to do something while they are busy watching their favourite television show will probably result in them ignoring the instruction;
• Shouting from a distance - instructions shouted from one room to another are often ignored simply because parents are not there to back up the instruction;
• Emotionally laden - children react to the emotional tone of what parents say to them: calling children "stupid" or an "idiot" shows disapproval of the child rather than the child's behaviour.

The Family Centre will be running the program at its centre and a range of Tweed venues including schools and child care centre.

The next program runs from February 23-April 12.

Phone 07 5534 8711 between 9am-12.30pm (NSW) Monday-Friday to book.

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