OPINION: Elegance, style and grace.

Attributes you might associate with Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn, but not with the Oscars, which seem to get trashier and flashier every year.

Our very own homegrown Nicole Kidman managed to look like she was turning up to the annual trailer trash charity ball in her dark-sequined disaster.

Anne Hathaway, who took home the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, turned up looking like a boy who had forgotten to brush their hair that morning in a no-colour dress that looked like it should have been ironed.

And trust me, the short hairdo isn't doing her any favours with those enormous lips and eyes she's got going on.

Sandra Bullock's dress looked see-through, Halle Berry was another one wearing a dress that was a sequined, cleavage-displaying disaster.

And don't get me started on Kristen Stewart, who elected to wear a shapeless pink sack made almost solely from tulle down the red carpet.

Speaking of tulle disasters, Helena Bonham Carter's angry-bride creation almost brought tears of horror to my eyes.

Not to mention her hairdo, which unintentionally I'm sure, simply screamed mental illness.

And my dearest, darling Sally Field.

Yes, I really, really do like her.

But this time she completely missed the mark in a red dress that looked like she was seeping blood from every crevice of her body and dragging along a train of entrails.

That look could work, except with the high neck and long sleeves, she also looked like a bloodied grandmother.

Continuing the horror movie theme, Kelly Osborne looked like the Queen of the Damned in her black dress with her purple hairdo.

Along with the disasters, there were so many dresses that were just blah.

Charlize Theron's dress looked like a designer had cut out some material, designed the dress and fully intended to add some colour or detail to it - but then ran out of time and slapped her on the red carpet looking washed out in a plain white dress.

Then there are the stars who have been made almost unrecognisable by cosmetic surgery.

I won't name names here because I don't want to get sued.

Oh, I know there will be do-gooders out there who will tell me I'm being too harsh.

If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, they will whine.

To that I say this: when it comes to the Academy Awards, if you haven't got anything nice to say, come sit by me.