Messy book leaves officers feeling sick

TWO truckies were pulled over by scalies during the night at the 12 Mile Weigh Bridge on the Pacific Hwy in New South Wales.

Only those who don't possess any sense of humour would not laugh at what happened afterwards.

That is, according to one of those truckies who told Spy of the incident.

One of the drivers had just gone just over the legal hours and was sure he would be breached.

Especially when they could see a police officer there as well.

But quick-thinking saved the night for him albeit in an unusual manner.

"My mate poured a bottle of water over his logbook and the cop started checking it by touching his tongue with his finger as he flicked the pages," he said.

Some of the pages were stuck together and the cop asked how "the bloody hell the book got wet".

"I stopped just up the highway to do a piddle and the book fell on the ground and accidentally got my urine on it," he answered.

A rather concerned police officer replied, "So you mean I have been touching your p..s (urine) and putting it is my mouth."

The driver said the cop told the pair to "pi*s off".

"We seen him walking over to the grass and trying to vomit," my informant said.

Every truckie Spy has relayed this to in the past week has laughed out loud.

Spooked by wipers

VETERAN truckie who was asleep beside the highway near Narrabri in NSW late at night was scared stiff when he heard a strange noise.

A quick look outside the 1982 model Road Boss rig could not reveal what it was, so the driver wanted to take off.

"I didn't know what it was and don't believe in yowies but I was spooked," he said.

It was all a false alarm. "I found it was the noise from the air wipers jamming," he said rather embarrassed.

Covered in bull dust

FROM a truckie who was travelling along a remote road in the Western Australian outback comes this ripper.

"It was along a dirt road which is full of bulldust in the dry season and gets flooded in the wet. This was dry time and I saw two blokes in a stationwagon broken down beside the road," he said. An appeal to tow them to the nearest repair station was agreed to.

"They stayed in the car as I towed it and up the highway I stopped to check and found their windscreen had smashed along the way and they were covered in bull dust," he said.

Not restrained

RATHER excited Victorian truckie told Spy of an incident during October when he was driving on a Gold Coast highway and said he saw a topless lass "flash" for him.

"She was a passenger in a convertible car and she was really a good looker. I thought I was seeing things but it sure was real," he said.

The car overtook our very happy truckie and just up the road he saw it had been pulled over by the Boys in Blue.

At the next rest area he made enquiries and thought the lass may have been booked for indecent behaviour.

"But I found out she was in fact was booked for not wearing a seatbelt," he said.

That's not a bull

ONE veteran tells Spy he was scared stiff when he walked into the Adelaide Creek Hotel in the Northern Territory which is popular with truckies.

After walking in he said a stuffed buffalo inside almost made him head for the toilet.

"It was a stuffed buffalo which looks so lifelike and I almost sh*t… my pants. A few of the lads in the bar got a good laugh out of it. I did too when I discovered it wasn't real," he said. Our mate said he was told the real life had been in the movie Crocodile Dundee and was stuffed after it died.

Getting an earful

THERE is an old saying that when people hear a ringing noise in their ears they think people are talking about them.

A South Oz driver was carrying a load interstate and starting getting such a ring in one of his.

It turned into a buzzing noise and became very painful.

When he reached Queensland the truckie couldn't stand it anymore and went to a doctor.

The good doc syringed his ear and discovered a small maggot which was removed. Our truckie mate has no idea how it managed to get into his ear.

More than a lobster

UP in Queensland one truckie never missed taking a lotto quick-pick every Tuesday night.

But all without much success. He admits to collecting regular amounts around $20 for low division collects.

But that changed in the October 16 draw when our punter opted to lay out a modest amount of $20 on his usual quick pick.

"I went to the newsagency the following Sunday and when the man there put my ticket in the machine it came up a winner," he said.

He lamented with the newsagent that it was probably another lobster, a slang term for a $20 note.

"It is a bit more than that, in fact it is $4100," was the reply.

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