A FUN DAY OUT: Rita (right) and Linda showing that even losers can be grinners.
A FUN DAY OUT: Rita (right) and Linda showing that even losers can be grinners. Graham Harsant

Even losers can be winners: Kermie

MY GAMBLING addiction extends about as far as buying a lotto ticket of a Saturday night.

Indeed, we are in a syndicate at the local newsagent, called Sue's Lucky Club.

I thought that one tenth of first division was better than no first division at all.

The same money gets us 72 games instead of 18 each week.

Those 72 games have so far (over 18 months) reaped us a maximum return of $6.85.

This past week we got a whole $4.10! Sue's Lucky Club? Not so sure about that one. But hey, we call it dream money.

We gamble within our means and every week I can go on my daily five kilometre walk and while the time away thinking of how we can help our boys and friends out.

We don't bet on the nags, we don't shove money down the slot machines, we do buy a Your Town ticket each month and that's a good cause with a bit of dream-time thrown in.

So when mate Don asked if we'd like to part with a hundred bucks to go into a draw at their local footy club, we baulked.

"Ten grand is the first prize,” he spouted.

My reply was "But it's also 554.4 games of lotto in which I can win up to one tenth of $4million”.

Ever the mathematical expert, he pointed out that the $925 we have so far spent on Sue's Lucky Club has returned us about $70.

He then explained the club draw in more detail.

Turns out that for our $100 we get a roast dinner for two and all the beer and wine we can drink for four hours.

Tension builds.
Tension builds. Graham Harsant

There are 380 tickets with cash prizes drawn every 20 or so. The first number drawn picks up $500, the second gets knocked out as does the third and so on.

The 20th gets their money back, the 40th get $150, and on it goes until the last six where everyone picks up a bit.

Down to the last two and its $1000 for second last, and $10,000 for the last drawn.

But at this stage the two last remaining have a chat and decide what they would like to do - leave it as is, split 50/50, 70/30 or whatever.

So, figuring I am quite capable of drinking $100 of beer and/or wine in my own right - making Rita's drinks and two roasts a bonus - we parted with our hard earned.

The day arrived last weekend and we headed up to the Yackandandah Footy Club on a cold but sunny afternoon.

As we walked through the gate one of the attendant's commented "you look like a lucky bloke”.

"Yeah, right,” I replied. "Can't you see this little Irish bugger sitting here on my left shoulder?”

We get our food and a drink and the draw begins. What a great day!

As the numbers are drawn the tension and excitement builds. I wasn't the first number drawn (of course), but neither was I the second - which in itself made me luckier than I've been in quite a while.

Don and Linda got knocked out around a third of the way through and that in itself made me feel like a winner.

We made it through until just before the halfway mark, by which time Murphy had decided that he'd best do something about my rising blood pressure.

The little bloke could have held off for one more draw because the very next number pulled out picked up a lazy $500!

Going on pub prices I figured I'd gone through $50 worth of drinks by now so I passed Rita the car keys and set myself the target of "getting my money back”.

At the end of the day, with two numbers to go, the last two standing - one of whom was present, got on the phone to the other and decided on a $7000/$4000 split.

The guy in attendance won the big one and promptly promised to put a grand of it behind the bar at the local pub, to the cheers of all present.

If you have to lose a quid or three, this is the way to do it because at the end of the day, no one was a loser.

I don't know if I consumed my $100 because I stopped counting, but the nice bottle of red Don produced over dinner at theirs certainly would have got me close.

Another $100 has already been dispensed with for next year's event.

Meantime it's back to lotto and dreaming, lotto and dreaming, lotto and...

Take care of you,

Kermie

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