Its Hume v Bruce
SOME truckies were deep in conversation about the condition of highways they negotiate around Australia.
There were about 10 of them and they all agreed the Bruce Hwy in Queensland was among the worst national one route.
Several spoke at length about how they reckoned the Hume Hwy from Sydney to Melbourne was much safer overall for truckies.
"There have been so many accidents on the Bruce Hwy recently and most of these are due to the condition of the road, which is generally dreadful," one said.
A few days later another truckie phoned Spy from a rest area offering the same opinion.
Tooth brush anger
THIS little ripper comes from a well-known road transport worker.
Several truckies stayed in a motel room one night while on an interstate run.
One had suffered a disease of the mouth, which caused his gums to bleed and left cold sores on the lips.
Without thinking he left his tooth brush in one of those multiple holders.
Somehow it touched his mate's tooth brush, who didn't know about the disease that had been diagnosed by a doctor as contagious.
After brushing his teeth the fellow was told about it and blew up, fearing he may catch the disease. But he didn't and now they joke about it.
A CAR driver who was on his UHF radio bagging truckies received a return serve with much more potency.
The fellow was criticising the driving habits of the truckies and many heard him over the radio.
Spy heard about this incident from a group of truckies at a roadhouse eatery.
They were having a laugh about it and reckon it will be the last time that car driver does that again, at least on the radio.
Being a family paper, Spy cannot reveal what was said to the motorist but you get the drift.
IN THIS day and age most people have a computer or at the very least are savvy about how to use one.
But during the first half of the year Spy has come up with an interesting statistic about truckies and computers.
After every truckie Spy talks to and photographs he offers to email the subject a copy of the pic.
"I don't have a computer or email address and never bothered to get one," about 80% have said.
To be fair nearly all of those are in the age bracket of over 50, which makes up the majority of truckies. Most of the 20% of drivers who said they have a computer were under 40.
MANY truckies from different states whom Spy has seen at roadhouses and rest areas in the past fortnight have been suffering from flu or severe colds.
Spy has never seen so many drivers coughing and sneezing and generally feeling ill.
Most of these fellows seldom take sickies and were just getting on with the job.
They were more concerned about passing the ailment on to other truckies or workers at delivery places.
THIS ripper comes to Spy from a road train driver who frequently travels along the Burra Range, which is part of the Flinders Hwy on the way to Hughenden.
The triple road train pilot told Spy a lass was thumbing a ride along that particular section in mid-June and must have been short of money.
"She was a hooker and was offering her services for $100 to passing truckies," he said.
Apparently the lass, aged in her late 20s to early 30s, wanted the truckies to "take advantage" of her offer in their sleeper box at the next available safe stop.
Before we go any further Spy must advise this information has been confirmed by other truckies in the immediate vicinity.
There is no way of knowing if any of our champions of road accepted the offer.
But Spy must admit he almost swallowed his Adam's apple when the informant offered this quote.
"It was the first time for years I never had $100 cash in my wallet," he said.
Last laugh for abused truckie
SOMETIMES it is better to be patient, as a well-known West Australian truckie discovered.
The truckie was in his rig on the inside lane as heavy traffic drove through a busy roundabout.
The truckie was sticking to the speed limit and a couple of car drivers behind him started to pump their horns.
They wanted him to speed up but, being a local privy to police enforcement activities, he wasn't coming to the party.
When the harassment continued he turned into the left-hand lane behind a tractor that was moving at a 40kmh snail's pace.
For several minutes driving was boring for old mate, however he gained some mirth just up the road when the tractor turned off.
About 20 cars from the other lane had been booked for speeding by a police radar brigade.
Caravan anger or thanks
A TRUCKIE who possesses a great sense of humour didn't know whether to laugh or cry after an incident involving a pair of grey nomads in a caravan.
The driver had travelled behind them for some distance at 20km below the speed limit and his patience became somewhat tested.
Suddenly the van driver pulled off the road and let our eager mate pass.
Out of the blue the truckie received a call on his radio from the gent who identified himself as the caravanner.
"I am pretty annoyed that you never called me on this channel to thank me for pulling off," he told the truckie.
For several minutes the truckie thought about his emotions and said he felt like communicating back with this: "Perhaps I should have told him to get stuffed for holding me up for so long."
Spy can tell readers he has sub-edited several expletives out of the potential reply.
Wives and clowns
THREE truckies from different states Spy saw at roadhouses last week had humorous captions on their shirts.
One from Perth had on his garment: "I don't need Google, my wife knows everything."
A Victorian's shirt said: "My wife and I were happy for 25 years - then we met."
Both declined having their pics snapped but each said it didn't refer to their partner.
Then a South Australian driver had Spy and some other truckies chuckling with the caption on his shirt: "Too many clowns and not enough circuses."
SOME road transport companies in recent times have been telling drivers they employ not to talk to the media under any circumstances.
It is not all that surprising when you consider truckies often receive negative publicity.
One of the items in fine print in many employment contracts is that drivers must not talk to media without permission of management.
However in the past month, three truckies, who would normally be delighted to be snapped for a pic in Big Rigs, have declined.
One did repent when told what was written in his vox pop interview would be emailed to the driver so he could show his boss and gain permission.
Which was forthcoming.