OPINION: I DIDN'T finish the series.

That is something I cling to when people ask me if I have read the erotic sensation Fifty Shades of Grey.

"Why, yes," I reply nervously.

"But I didn't finish it, I got about halfway through the third book and well..."

The truth is I just didn't bother finishing the third book.

I intended to at the time but, well, I just had better things to do.

I'm disgusted, horrified, angry and ashamed at myself for reading as much of those books as I did after I read the first three pages and discovered that it was pretty much crap.

Her books took pop culture to a new level of awful.

They are poorly written, with no character and nothing that leaves the reader feeling that their time was well spent.

I read something somewhere that actually made me feel a lot better about the phenomenon.

It said, and I paraphrase: No one expects great cinematography from a porn film, so why should we expect a high class of writing from a series of books that are really nothing more than poorly written romantic novels with a raunchy twist?

I had to admit, whoever wrote those words had a point.

But now my anger has been reignited after hearing that EL James, the author of the series, is writing a new book offering tips on writing.

It's the gall of this woman, thinking she has any insight into what makes a good novel, or feeling that she can pass on writing tips to aspiring authors, that leaves me fuming.

Selling a lot of books to a lot of apparently horny housewives does not make one a good writer and I'm afraid the proof is in the pudding.

It wasn't the content; I read romance novels regularly and find them entertaining enough.

Sure the sexual content of the novels are a little left of centre, but I wasn't offended by what I read.

But the writing was so poor, the sex scenes were actually more of a turn off than anything else.

Maybe some people did find it sexy; maybe some women who read it were turned on; I found it a little ridiculous.

Ana Steele, the innocent lead character, who is seduced by millionaire Christian Grey, is the most insipid creature I have ever seen in print - yes, worse than Bella Swan.

I quite liked Twilight; the writing wasn't amazing but I felt that the author, Stephenie Meyers, was true to her vision and had created some interesting scenario with her characters.

Bella had a genuine inner dialogue and it was easy to build a rapport with the novels, which, like Fifty Shades of Grey, were written in the first person.

Although I found Bella to be uninspiring as a heroic character - and I admit that I do like female characters to have a bit of guts - I didn't find her particularly annoying.

Ana Steele, with her "inner goddess" on the other hand, was enough to drive me insane.

It hurts enough to think that there are some genuinely good novelists out there who can't watch a break and get their book published, for whatever reason; and this drivel gets published and sells more than 70 million copies.

But a book telling other people how to write?

That crosses the line.